SSSS TTTTTTT AAAA RRRRR TTTTTTT RRRRR EEEEEE K KK S T A A R R T R R E K KK SSSS T AAAAA RRRRRR T RRRRRR EEEE KKKK S T A A R R T R R E K K SSSS T A A R R T R R EEEEEE K K THE N N EEEEE W W CCC OOO L L EEEEE GGGG EEEEE N N N E W W C C O O L L E G G E N N N EEE W W W C O O L L EE G EEE N N N E W W W C C O O L L E G GGG E N N EEEEE W WW CCCC OOOO LLLLL LLLLL EEEEE GGGG EEEEE GGGG EEEEE N N EEEEE RRRR AAAA TTTTTTT IIIII OOOO N N G G E N N N E R R A A T I O O N N N G EEE N N N EEE RRRRR AAAAA T I O O N N N G GGG E N N N E R R A A T I O O N N N GGGG EEEEE N N EEEEE R R A A T IIIII OOOO N N STARTREK: THE NEW COLLEGE GENERATION SEASON 3 EPISODE 6: For the Glory of the Empire! (2/2) Written by Spaceman Spiff With Creative Credit to Da Teach ================================================================= Credits Captain Jean Luc Picard...............Jeffery Commander Riker.......................Peeeter Lt Commander Data.......................SPiff Lt Worf.................................ROCK! Wing Mahn......................Casey Cosgrove S'een Tihm..........................Sean Timm Kerplunk..............................Jeff Y. Ashtoon...............................Muneesh Counselor Troi................Heather Higgins Wesley Crusher.....................Timmy Dude Lt Svoboda.......................Matt Svoboda Lt Cmdr Geordi LaForge.....Col Hafez Al Baruk Lt Carroll..............................Jason Lt Barclay........................John Duncan Gowron..................................Blade Guinan.........................Andrea Rowland All Klingon Extras Courtesy The Weedon 100's ================================================================= [New Scene: Exterior shot of the Enterprise in orbit around the Klingon homeworld.] Picard's Voice: Captain's log, supplemental. The insurrection in the Klingon homeworld has become a heated struggle between forces loyal to Gowron and forces loyal to Kerplunk. What puzzles us is where did Kerplunk get all this support? [Switch to Riker and Data talking with Federation citizens.] Picard's Voice: Commander Riker and Commander Data have been interviewing the evacuees from the Klingon home world in an effort to gather more information. It seems that recently a pro- Klingon movement has been growing on the homeworld, a movement hostile towards all off worlders. The group called The Brotherhood Of Cleansing, not on be confused with the Brotherhood of the Daily Shower, is led by a fanatical Klingon named Ashtoon. We don't know much more than this. [Switch to Picard in his read room, with his chair turned to the window as he stares off into space. The door chimes.] Picard: Come. [The door opens and Commander Riker steps enters. Picard doesn't turn from the window.] Riker: I thought you would like to know that we just received word of another victory by Gowron. Now they have retaken all of the capital city. It appears that Kerplunk's forces are in retreat and are remassing for a final push. Picard: (nods, concerned) Any word on mister Worf. Riker: (shakes his head) No sir. [New Scene: Worf is dressed in an apron and standing behind a counter in a galley serving lunch to other Klingons. He heaps a spoon full of slime onto the plate of a Klingon in line. The Klingon grunts something about the food being dead instead of alive.] Worf: (irritated) Bring it up with the chef. I am NOT the cook. [Wing Mahn and S'een Tihm step are next in line and they step up to Worf's station.] S'een Tihm: (taunting) Enjoying your tour of duty WORF? (he grins evilly) Worf: (growls) Say when! (he slops a spoon full of slim on S'een Tihm's tray) S'een Tihm: (laughs) When. (he turns and walks off) Wing Mahn: (chuckles) Come now Worf. You have the most glorious job in the fleet. (snickers) Worf: (cocks his head as he puts a spoon full on Wing Mahn's tray.) I do not call being a server in the officer's mess at headquarters on the second moon of the Klingon homeworld glorious. (raises his voice) And if you had ANY honor, you would be on the front YOURSELF. [Wing Mahn is more than mildly insulted. He throws his tray at Worf and pulls his knife. Just then the klaxons sound.] Voice: Battle stations! We are under attack! Wing Mahn: (stops short of sticking Worf) I'll handle you later. (takes his blaster out of it's holster and throws it to Worf) It's time to PROVE you are a warrior. [Switch to Exterior shot of the moon base. An explosion rocks the base as dropships descend.] [New Scene: Bridge of the Enterprise. The red alert lights are on. Svoboda at tactical. Data at ops. Wesley at nav. Picard in Command. Riker to his right. Troi to his left.] Svoboda: Sensors read a massive assault on the command and control base on the second moon. Riker: We aren't in any danger yet Captain. Picard: Stand down red alert. Keep it at yellow. Svoboda: Aye sir. [Warning lights go from red to yellow.] Data: Sir. Sensors are picking up a huge energy build up on the second moon. Riker: (looks at his display and reacts) Shields up!! [Switch to inside moon base Kerplunk, Ashtoon, and a few other Klingons in battle dress. They appear to be in some kind of a command and control center.] Klingon #1: Sir. We have been over run in sector 2 our forces are falling back. Kerplunk: (to Ashtoon) Maybe we should fall back and regroup. We will return with more forces. Ashtoon: (growls) Klingons do NOT fall back and regroup. When are we going to squash this resistance like the bug it is?!? (looks at Kerplunk with contempt) You are sub-bumboy! Kerplunk: (drawing his knife) I think I've had quite enough of you're whining about honor Ashtoon. Let us see what you are really made of! [The door explodes Wing Mahn, Worf (still wearing his apron), and platoon on Klingons run though the door shouting war cries. There is a brief struggle but Keplunk's men are overwhelmed and disarmed.] Wing Mahn: (steps up to Kerplunk and towers over him) Do you surrender? (bares his teeth in an evil grin.) Ashtoon: (vehemently) NEVER! [Ashtoon pulls a disrupter on Wing Mahn. Worf dives at him knocks him over as the disrupter goes off, saving Wing Mahn. The disrupter beam hits a control panel and destroys it. Worf knocks the weapon out of Ashtoon's hand. Ashtoon hits Worf with his other hand and draws blood. Worf rolls over on top of Ashtoon and hits him repeatedly in the face, knocking him unconscious. Wing Mahn looks at Worf with surprise. Worf stands and snaps to attention.] Worf: Sir! He hit me first! Wing Mahn: (nods) And you hit him back. Well done.... for a wussboy cook. [S'een Tihm runs in with his squad.] Wing Mahn: (motions to Kerplunk's forces) Take these cowards away! [S'een Tihm barks orders in Klingonaise and Wing Mahn's forces begin to push Kerplunk's men out of the room, their heads hung in shame. While no one is looking, Ashtoon pulls himself to his knees and hits a button on a nearby console labeled "NEVER HIT THIS". The lights in the room go to red and a klaxon goes off. Ashtoon collapses, sitting on the deck, laughing to himself.] Ashtoon: (taunting) You fools! If the Klingon homeworld is not pure, it does not deserve to live! Kerplunk: (being dragged out, breaks free of his captors and examines the console near him. He pounds his fist on the console) You DITRON! You'll kill us all! (gets real angry) But I'll kill YOU first! [Kerplunk lunges at Ashtoon intent on killing him. Worf steps between them and holds Kerplunk back.] Wing Mahn: (slightly alarmed) What did he do? Kerplunk: (foaming at the mouth) He sent the energy converters into overdrive and the console to shut them off is destroyed. (gestures at the console destroyed by Ashtoon's disrupter) The blast will tear this moon apart and send at least half of it crashing into the homeworld! Worf: (unconvinced) That's ridiculous! There must be a backup, another emergency shutdown console. [Everyone looks at Worf strangely.] Wing Mahn: Backup? What is this... "backup"? Worf: (smacks himself in the head) I'm sorry. I forgot I was dealing with Klingons. S'een Tihm: (calmly) Well, there is only one thing we can do..... Wing Mahn: (screaming in terror) RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! [The scene erupts in chaos as the Klingons forget they were ever fighting each other and attempt to get the hell out of there.] Worf: (pushing toward the door) Cooks and lunch room servers first! [Switch back to the Enterprise bridge.] Data: Confirmed. The second moon is going to blow up. Riker: Blow up? Svoboda: (to Picard) The communications channels are becoming chaotic sir. I can't get a hold of Wing Mahn. It seems like everyone is trying to get off that moon. Troi: I feel a big explosion coming. Picard: (patronizing Troi) You are just SO inciteful counselor. [A huge explosion lights up the view screen. The bridge rocks violently for a few seconds.] Picard: Report. Riker: No damage. Data: The moon has fractured into twenty major pieces and several million smaller pieces. (does a quick calculation) The first of these pieces will impact on the Klingon homeworld in under ten minutes. Riker: Holy extinctions Captain! Picard: (dramatically) Right you are Riker! (stands) Data! To the bat cave! [Old "Batman" music. Data stands and the aft turbo lift doors open revealing two fireman's poles. Picard and Data each grab a pole and slide down.] [Switch to Engineering. Data and Picard enter. Carroll, Geordi and Barclay are standing around the table like console.] Picard: Suggestions gentlemen? [zoom in on Carroll] Carroll: Get Q! [pan to Geordi.] Geordi: Get the president! [pan to Barclay.] Barclay: Get me Superman! [zoom out] Data: (Raises and eyebrow) Any other suggestions. [Geordi, Carroll, and Barclay all put their elbows down on the console lay their chin in their hands and sigh loudly.] Barclay: (suddenly) Wait! I have it! I saw an episode of 90210 where Brenda..... [Everyone groans.] Barclay: (throwing a tantrum) Listen to me!!!! .... Brenda broke a huge glass vase and there were all these pieces. Big ones, little ones... It was a mess and they used a VACUUM to clean it up. Carroll: (sarcastically) Great! Were are we going to find a Shop Vac (tm) that size! Geordi: (hits himself on the forehead) A black hole!! [The fanfare to "The Superman March" plays and the music starts.] Data: (running with the idea) Yes! There is a low mass black hole that orbits in the oort cloud of the sun of the Klingon home world. Picard: (seriously) I hate to rain on your parade but..... How do we move a black hole. [Geordi works furiously at his console.] Geordi: We'll set up a warp field vortex..... Carroll: .....We can lasso the black hole....... Barclay: .....And vacuum up the pieces!..... [The engineers high five each other and start dancing a jig.] Data: I'll get back up the bridge a pilot..... Be ready with the "warp lasso." [Data and Picard exit. Picard shaking his head.] Picard: (mumbles) Engineers! [New Scene: The Superman music continues in the background. On the Bridge, Picard enters and takes the command chair. Data takes his place at ops. Wesley at nav. Riker to Picard's right. Svoboda at tactical.] Wesley: (looking at his console) We'll never make the round trip in time.... not even at warp 9.9! Data: (winks at Wesley) Watch and learn. [Exterior shot of the Enterprise. It jumps forward out of orbit and launches toward the sun.] [Back on the bridge.] Troi: I'm no astrophysicist, but isn't the oort cloud in the outer solar system? I think we're going the wrong way. Picard: What in the blazes are you doing Data? Data: (not looking up) Wesley said it best... We have to go faster than warp 9.9 to get there in time. I am going to pilot the Enterprise in a powered slingshot trajectory around the sun. This should boost us to warp 9.99999999999999...... Riker: Or tear the ship apart! For the love of God man! Picard: (to Svoboda) Structural integrity field at maximum! (to everyone) Fasten your seat belts everyone. Wesley: But the odds of succeeding in this manoeuver are..... Everyone: (in unison) Never tell us the odds! [Exterior shot of the Enterprise. It zooms towards the star and skips across the photosphere, crashing through a solar prominance and streaking off into space.] Data's Voice: (screaming) Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Haw! Feel the powdered snow! I'm swooshing! Timberline, my Timberline!!!! [Switch to the bridge. Everyone is under great strain from the acceleration.] Wesley: Warp 9.999999999999999999999! (pauses and thinks) Has anyone wondered how we're going to stop? Picard: Surely, you're joking Ensign. This ship stops on a dime! [An exterior shot of the Enterprise streaking into view and stopping abruptly in space. A blue glowing whirlpool sits in the foreground.] [Switch to the bridge.] Svoboda: Four. Riker: Four what? Data: (casually) Laws of physics broken. Riker: (shrugs it off) Oh. I thought it was something important. Picard: Geordi? Ready with the "lasso." Geordi's voice: Aye sir. Engaged. Picard: Mister Data...... [Exterior shot of the Enterprise. It is now dragging the whirlpool behind it. The ship stretches and jumps to warp.] [Back on the bridge.] Wesley: We aren't going to make it. The first large piece will have entered the atmosphere by the time we get there. Picard: Mister La Forge, can you give us any more? Geordi's Voice: (scottish accent) I'm giv'n ya all I kan Capt'n! Riker: (exchanges glances with Picard, in a hushed voice.) We'll have to do atmospheric maneuvers. Picard: (nods) It's the only way. Mister Data, prepare for aerobraking. Data: Aye sir. Wesley: (scared) Sir. Can I request a transfer.... now? [Shot of the Klingon home world. A large chunk of the moon falls end over end into the atmosphere and begins to glow and streak fire behind it. The Enterprise streaks out of no where. It enters the atmosphere at a shallow angle trailing orange flames. It dives under the trajectory of the asteroid and then pulls up, bring the whirlpool it has in tow in contact with the asteroid. There is a large sucking sound and a huge burp as the asteroid gets "eaten" by the black hole.] [Switch to the bridge. Everyone is jumping up and down and hugging each other.] Data: (reporting) 99.99% of the moon fragments "vacuumed." Entering standard orbit. Troi: (in the background, overjoyed) I feel..... HEY! Commander Riker! Watch your hands!! Riker: (truly confused) What?!? Picard: (chuckles like a dirty old man) [New Scene: The Great Hall of the Klingon High Council. It is still bright pink, but the Klingons are dressed normally now. The Council is present with Gowron sitting presiding. Wing Mahn stands to his right. Kerplunk stands before the council.] Gowron: (sternly) Perhaps we were a bit hasty in the changes we made. (looks at the pink walls in disgust) Kerplunk! While you did declare war on the council, (smiles slightly) it was the most fun we've had in ages around here kicking your ass. [Everyone except Kerplunk chuckles.] Gowron: I sentence you to get paint thinner and strip all of these horrid bright colors off the walls! Kerplunk: With pleasure! Gowron: (smiles evilly) ALL the walls. Kerplunk: (meekly) I better get to work then sir. [A little bunny hops across the foreground. Gowron spies it. He stands and dives at it with his knife flashing. The little sucker manages to get away. Gowron is furious.] Gowron: (screaming) GET ME THAT RABBIT!! NO MORE FUZZY BUNNIES!!!! [The council erupts in a huge rabbit hunt as Kerplunk gets a bucket of paint thinner and starts scrubbing the walls.] [New Scene: On the Enterprise in Ten Forward. Worf, Data, and Guinan are sitting at a table by the window.] Data: (in the middle of a boring lecture) Historically speaking, almost every culture has a myth about a being that will come and unite everyone. Why in earth culture alone you have the Christ figure from the Judeo-Christian-Islamic ethic, the African myth of the rainmaker,....... Guinan: (interrupting) I think what you are trying to say Data is that one man can make a difference. Data: (puzzled, opens his mouth to speak but is then interrupted again) Worf: (sternly) I do not wish to be that man. Everyone took me so seriously that it was a total joke! Guinan: (smiles, kidding Worf) They just aren't ready for you Worf. Data: THAT I can agree with Guinan. [All three laugh. Pull back out the window to a full shot of the Enterprise cruising.] [Fade to black] [Theme music and credits roll.]