SSSS TTTTTTT AAAA RRRRR TTTTTTT RRRRR EEEEEE K KK S T A A R R T R R E K KK SSSS T AAAAA RRRRRR T RRRRRR EEEE KKKK S T A A R R T R R E K K SSSS T A A R R T R R EEEEEE K K THE N N EEEEE W W CCC OOO L L EEEEE GGGG EEEEE N N N E W W C C O O L L E G G E N N N EEE W W W C O O L L EE G EEE N N N E W W W C C O O L L E G GGG E N N EEEEE W WW CCCC OOOO LLLLL LLLLL EEEEE GGGG EEEEE GGGG EEEEE N N EEEEE RRRR AAAA TTTTTTT IIIII OOOO N N G G E N N N E R R A A T I O O N N N G EEE N N N EEE RRRRR AAAAA T I O O N N N G GGG E N N N E R R A A T I O O N N N GGGG EEEEE N N EEEEE R R A A T IIIII OOOO N N STARTREK: THE NEW COLLEGE GENERATION SEASON 3 EPISODE 9: I'm Free!!!!!!!!!!!!! Written by Spaceman Spiff With Creative Credit to Da Teach ============================================================== Credits Captain Picard........................Jeffery Commander Riker.......................Peeeter Lt Worf.................................ROCK! Counselor Troi................Heather Higgins Lt Cmdr Geordi LaForge.....Col Hafez Al Baruk Lt Commander Data.......................SPiff Ensign Yoder............................Steve Lt Carroll..............................Jason Lt Barclay........................John Duncan Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher.......Timmy Dude Doctor Beverly Crusher.................Anita! Spak..................................Mark R. Guinan.........................Andrea Rowland Dr. Soong...............................Tamir Lt Svoboda.......................Matt Svoboda Administrator Oh.....................Henry Oh Ensign Deyerle...................Lisa Deyerle Ensign Gabriel............M.C. "Kate" Gabriel Poohbah of Borg.............Shannon Cavalucci Klingon Ambassador.....................CeeJee Klingons.........................Weedon 100's Lore................................Mike Shor Computer's Voice................Richard Nuzzy Q...............................Aldo Bachetta Willam Shatner.....................As Himself ============================================================== [New Scene: In the dark of space. A lone dark asteroid tumbles by in silence against the sprinkling of stars. Softly, the theme music for ST:TNG starts in the background.] Picard's Voice: Space, the final frontier....... [Pan over to show the Earth. A big beautiful blue marble alone in space. We start slowly accelerating towards it.] Riker's Voice: These are the voyages of the residential college, Hereford........ [The Earth get closer still. We're on a collision course for the North American continent.] Worf's Voice: On her continuing mission....... Troi's Voice: To seek out a new life........ Geordi's Voice: To build a new civilization....... [The camera enters the atmosphere and an orange glow envelopes the whole screen.] Data's Voice: To boldly go, were no residential college has gone before! [The Screen is enveloped in a blinding explosion.] [Pull back to show upper Vaughn field. There are several people pointing to a smoking hole in the ground between Johnson House and Vaughn house. The fanfare plays and the theme music goes into full swing.] [Credits roll.] [New Scene: The Enterprise orbiting a green planet.] [Switch to the transporter room. Yoder is at the console. Picard and Data enter. Picard nods to Yoder. Yoder starts an interpretive dance. Picard rolls his eyes.] Picard: (annoyed) The TRANSPORTER please! Yoder: (a bit embarrassed by his mistake) Oh yeah! Right. [Yoder steps back behind the console and energizes the transporter. There is a the usual twinkling on the pad.] [Switch to close up of Data's face. As the noise of the transporter stops a look of what can only be described as surprise comes across Data's face.] Jarad: (off screen) Captain Picard, so good to finally meet you. Picard: (off screen) Admiral Jarad, it is my pleasure. Welcome to the Enterprise. [Switch camera angle to the whole room again. A woman, who looks remarkably like Karahan steps off the transporter pad. Data looks perplexed and is self absorbed.] Picard: (to Jarad) Would you like to brief me now? Jarad: (looks at Data and smiles. Data is too self absorbed to notice) Why don't you give me twenty minutes. It was a long trip. Picard: (nods) Commander Data, would you please escort the Admiral to her quarters. [Data stands there looking puzzled.] Picard: Data? Data: (snapping to attention) Yes sir. [Picard gestures for the Admiral to go first, she walks through the door.] Picard: (to Data, slightly concerned) Is there something wrong commander? Data: (professionally) Not at all sir. [Data exits followed by Picard.] [In the hall, Picard walks away from Jarad and Data. Data offers to take Jarad's bag and she gives it to him. Data leads Jarad opposite the way Picard went.] Jarad: (to Data) You notice me, don't you? Data: (looking straight ahead) You bear a resemblance to a woman I once knew. However, she would be much older than you. Jarad: This is true. [Data and Jarad come to a turbo lift. They step to the side and let the people out, then get in it.] Data: Deck Eight. [The computer chirps and the turbo lift begins to move. There is an awkward silence.] Jarad: (curious) And just who do I remind you of commander... Data: (avoiding the question) It would be hard to explain. [The turbo lift stops and they get off. Data leads the Admiral into a room a short way down the corridor.] [In the room. Data puts down the Jarad's bag. Data turns to go.] Jarad: (crypticly) Aren't you the least bit curious Data? Data: (stops in the door and turns) You cannot be the person I knew. She is dead. Jarad: (smiles) Not completely. [Jarad pops open a panel on her wrist, revealing circuits.] Data: (amazed) An android! Jarad: (closing her wrist) You're the only person I'd ever slit my wrists for Data. (smirks) Data: Why? Jarad: Soong before you and Lore, but I stayed with him and received certain refinements you did not. He intended for me to be indistinguishable from a human. Data: But why didn't he tell me..... Jarad: My mission is to be a "guardian" of humanity. Much like you, but as my android identity is hidden, I can do things and alter history in ways you cannot. Even you couldn't know I existed. Data: (skeptical of this guardian thing) Why tell me now? Jarad: I need your help. Data: With what? Jarad: The Enterprise must be destroyed and I need you to do it. (pause) For the good of humanity. [New Scene: The command crew gathers in the aft observation lounge for a briefing. Picard, Data, and Riker are present. Jarad sits at the head of the table and starts the briefing.] Jarad: (sternly) I must make it clear before I start this briefing that this is TOP SECRET material and none of it is to be discussed outside the confines of this room. [Everyone nods.] [Jarad turns to the screen a briefly a picture flashes up of commander Riker and a woman nude in a compromising position. Jarad clears the display and turns to Riker. She raises and eyebrow.] Riker: (grasping at straws) It was some serious extraterestial anatomy research. Picard: (disappointed) Oh Riker..... Riker: (defensively) No really, she's Antarian..... Picard: (disappointed) I would have expected that it was some chick you picked up in Runk-Forward. Riker: Well, that too...... Jarad: (clears her throat and tries again. she turns to the screen it flickers and shows some neat 3-d wire frame graph) This may be familiar to all of you. Data: (unprompted rattles off) It is the Apethan Pocket. A subspace tear near by in the Horenfed System. Jarad: (nods) Yes. Recently it has become unstable. Riker: How unstable? Jarad: (serious) VERY unstable. Recent warp traffic trough the region has weakened the pocket to the point of rupture. Data: Doing a quick calculation. A subspace rupture at that point could effect four populated worlds in this sector. Jarad: And more...... We believe that this tear could eat the entire galaxy. Riker: So what do we do? Get a patch and slap it on there? Picard: (giggles) Make it sew! Jarad: We don't know what has to be done, but your mission is to patch this tear at all costs. The fate of the galaxy is at stake. (to Picard) Captain, lay in a course. I will make the starfleet files available to you and your crew. Dismissed. [Picard and Riker get up and walk out. Data is last.] Jarad: (to Data) Data, could you stay a moment. [Data stops in the door way and turns. The door shuts.] Data: I have duties to attend to. Jarad: (smiles) Data. There is one thing that you won't find in the starfleet files..... Data: I assume that is the force of the explosion necessary to seal the rift. Jarad: (teases Data) You're fast. How big do you think that explosions would have to be. Data: (cocks his head) There is a great deal of uncertainty in that calculation, but from the statement you made in your quarters, I would say we would need the most powerful explosion available to the Federation,.... Jarad: (completing the thought) A breach of a galaxy class warp core. (steps closer to Data) Data, can I count on you. Data: (hesitates) I am bound to obey the orders of a superior officer. Jarad: (interrupting) AND, the survival of humanity is at stake Data. Data: (almost frowns) Jarad: (pleading) Do you think I like this any more than you Data? How many times do you think I checked and rechecked the calculations? There is more of Karahan in me than you think. Data: There is a bit of Karahan in me to but..... Jarad: Data, I HAVE emotions. Karahan's memories were a matrix on which my sentience was built. In many ways, I AM Karahan. Data: (stolidly) Where you build before or after Lore. Jarad: (upset, turns from Data and looks out the window) Lore was a mistake. He lacked the stable matrix that I have for emotion. Data: (almost showing pity) I'm sorry. (Data steps forward) Jarad: (sobs, without turning) You have duties to attend to Commander. [Data hesitates, then turns to leave.] Jarad: (meekly) Can I count on you Data. Data: (without turning) Yes Karahan. [New Scene: Main Engineering. Geordi and Carroll are fooling with some circuitry. Data walks in.] Data: Geordi, can I talk to you? Geordi: (nods) Sure. (to Carroll) Here. (hands him the tool he has) Hold you finger there. (points inside the open panel) [Carroll nods. Geordi and Data step off to the side.] Geordi: What can I do for you Data? [There is a loud sizzling sound and a scream accompanied by a flash. Carroll staggers by behind Geordi and Data, his hair standing on end.] Data: Have you implemented the metaphasic shielding program yet? Geordi: (making excuses) Well Data, I've been working on my thesis and..... Data: Geordi, I can't tell you why, but it is vital that we be in top notch shape for the coming mission. Geordi: Hey. You're serious. (scratches his chin) I'll get right on it. Maybe I should upgrade all the power couplings too. Data: (nods) That would also be (pauses) prudent. (hinting heavily) This is all regular routine of course.... Geordi: (catches on) Yes. You know that Data. Data: (turns to go) Thank you Geordi. Geordi: Data. Can't you tell me anything? [Data just keeps going. Geordi shakes his head. Carroll walks in, still smoking.] Carroll: WOAH! I asked for a BUD LIGHT! Geordi: (shakes his head and sits down at the display, the Linux Loader comes up) ARGGH! BARCLAY! [Barclay hurries into Geordi's office.] Barclay: Yes sir! Geordi: (annoyed) Didn't I tell you to wipe Linux off the computer? Barclay: Yes sir. Geordi: (more annoyed) Did you? Barclay: (confused) Yes sir. I even formatted the drives. [Horror music begins to play.] Geordi: (stares at the screen in disbelief) It's not HUMAN! It's like a virus! Carroll: (still smoking looks over Geordi's shoulder) For the love of God!! Geordi: (melodramatic) There's only one thing we can do.... Carroll: (horrified) NO! Not that! Barclay: (cluelessly whines) What? Am I missing something? It's 11pm. It's past my bed time. Geordi: (melodramatic) Yes! We'll have to REINSTALL MS-DOS! That will nuke the enitire Master Boot Record. Carroll and Barclay in unison: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! [New Scene: Outside Runk Forward. Data approaches the door and it opens. Dr. Crusher appears, dragging Wesley out of Runk Forward by his ear.] Crusher: (scolding Wesley) That is enough young man! Just because your some kind of super-being time-lord now doesn't mean you can go fooling with time when ever you want to! [Wesley suddenly vanishes.] Crusher: (audibly swears and notices Data) Kids! Always using their super powers to cause trouble. [Data raises an eyebrow and walks into Runk Forward.] [Inside Runk Forward, Data is almost immediately greeted by Spak.] Spak: Want to go in on a pizza? Data: (ignoring Spak) No thank you. I just ordered chinese. Spak: (whines) Unbelievable! You had sweet and sour chicken without me! (he runs off) [Data takes a seat at a table near the window. Almost magically, Guinan appears behind him.] Guinan: How's the reunion Data? [Data is startled by Guinan and even more so by here question.] Data: (cocks his head) How do you.....? Guinan: (takes a seat) I'm the bartender. It's my job to know these things. (pauses) Plus I don't just read the part of the script I'm in. Data: (nods) The reunion is.... uncertain. Guinan: (nods) They often are. (notices Data's blank stare) Data? (he doesn't respond) Data? [Zoom in on Data's face.] [Data's Waking Dream: Data is alone in the holodeck. He approaches the doors, but they won't open. Dr. Soong appears in the middle of the room.] Dr. Soong: (echoing voice) Follow your heart Data....... [Suddenly Data is on the bridge at ops. Zoom out to show Picard in Command. Riker at Picard's right. Worf at Tactical. Svoboda at Nav. The Red Alert Lights flash silently and bathe the bridge in an eerie red glow. The ship shakes with an impact.] Worf: Direct hit! Warp core breach imminent! Riker: (frantically working is display) The ejection mechanism is locked! Picard: Emergency override! Data: Override not responding. Worf: The exterior doors to eject the core are jammed. Picard: Emergency saucer separation! Svoboda: (hits the display with his fist) Docking latches malfunctioning! Riker: We can't separate the saucer section. The lines to the control latches are severed. And the back up section is on deck six. Worf: Deck six is GONE! Picard: Abandon ship! Sound all hands abandon ship! Data: (noticing something) Sir. I could get to the controls and override. Riker: (seeing what Data is thinking) Data! You can't do that. You'd have to enter the plasma energy conduit! You'd be killed! Data: Not immediately. I could make it to the switch. Svoboda: We'll all be dead otherwise! Let him do it! Worf: I will go! Data: I am the only one capable. Picard: Make it so! [Data goes to the turbo lift.] [Suddenly Data is in a green field with long green grass waving in the wind and a crystal clear blue sky. Karahan/Jarad is there.] Jarad: (unemotionally) It's the only option. [Again the scene shifts suddenly to Soong's lab. Soong is there, back to the wall. Data turns away from Biff.] [Biff picks up a stool by the work bench and swings it at Data's turned back. Karahan sees it coming.] Karahan: (screaming) DATA! [Karahan pushes Data down and Biff swings true, hitting Karahan right between the eyes with the stool. Slow motion. Karahan falls to the floor with a thud, unmoving. Data swiftly recovers and looks at Karahan.] [Zoom in. A thin ribbon of blood trickles down Karahan's face as she stares blankly and lifelessly forward.] [Zoom out. Biff stands back in shock. Data twitches slightly then moves quickly. He grabs the work bench. Wesley yells.] Wesley: (desperate) DATA! NO! [Effortlessly, Data lifts the heavy work bench and takes a full swing at Biff with it. Biff is stunned into inaction. Soong looks on in shock, his back to the wall.] Data: (angry) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! [Back in Runk Forward. Guinan is shaking Data.] Guinan: (frantic) DATA! SNAP OUT OF IT! PUT DOWN THE TABLE NOW! (for a second Guinan even seems like she is going to back her words up with force if necessary and God help Data.) [Data notices he is holding a table over his head and everyone is looking at him. Meekly Data replaces the table. He is blushing! He turns and runs from Runk Forward.] Guinan: (concerned, yells after Data) Data! Come back! [New Scene: The bridge. Picard in command. Riker to his right. Jarad to his left. Svoboda at Nav. Worf at tactical. Data enters hurriedly, late for duty and takes his place at Ops.] Data: (notices Svoboda) Lieutenant, isn't this Ensign Crusher's shift. Svoboda: (busy) He got grounded by his mommy for stopping time without permission. Data: (nods and looks a bit worried. Is his dream coming true?) Riker: (reporting) Mister Worf and I have decided that the most effective way to seal the fissure is to launch a spread of forty photo torpedoes in a special configuration. Picard: (nods) (to the Admiral) Does it meet with your approval admiral? Jarad: Make it so Captain. [Picard seems a bit frazzled that someone else would say "make it so" with him around.] Riker: (to Worf) Ready when you are mister Worf. Worf: Firing torpedoes. [Exterior shot of the Enterprise. A glowing fissure, hundreds of times the size of the Enterprise looms in front of it. A salvo of photon torpedoes spreads out and disappear in the fissure. No explosion follows.] [Back on the bridge.] Worf: (puzzled) They just disappeared. Data: (checking his display) They have (raises and eyebrow and turns to the captain) vanished. Riker: Doah! Jarad: (taking control) It appears that more drastic measures are needed. [The whole ship shakes.] [An exterior shot. The rip expands exponentially, and grows laterally. It is now so big that it extends out of sight in both directions. The Enterprise looks hopelessly small beside it.] [On the bridge.] Picard: Helm, back us away..... Jarad: (interrupting) Delay that order. Move us in closer. [Everything on the bridge STOPS. Picard and Riker look at Jarad as if she is mad and she might well be.] Worf: (reporting) That would be an unnecessary risk. Jarad: (shoots Worf an icy stare) Worf: (snaps to attention and whimpers) IMHO sir. Jarad: _I_ will determine what a necessary risk is. [Svoboda hesitates and looks at the captain. Picard nods assuringly and Svoboda starts to lay in a course but he finds he has been locked out.] Svoboda: The helm is not responding. (to Data) Data, do you have access to the helm. Data: (looks forward silently and nods) Jarad: (to Data, growing impatient) LAY IN THE COURSE COMMANDER. Data: (takes his hands from the console and hangs them at his sides. He looks forward.) I will not. Jarad: (stands, furious) YOU WILL NOT?!? [The whole ship shakes again, more violently this time. The ship lurches forward.] Worf: (very alarmed) SIR! We are being pulled into the rift! Riker: Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrred Alert! Shields up! Picard: (stands and shows some back bone) Admiral Jarad! I am responsible for the safety of this vessel and her crew and..... [Jarad spreads he palm across Picard's face and pushes him in the corner. Picard whimpers as he hits the floor. Riker stands and his pants fall down. Svoboda is incapacitated with laughter at the sight of Riker's glow in the dark Mickey Mouse boxer shorts. Worf has his hands full at tactical with another crisis.] Worf: We have and imminent warp core breach! Data: (stands and turns to Jarad. He glares at her.) Jarad: (frankly) I KNEW I couldn't trust you Data.... I had to do it myself. Data: (torn emotionally) Karahan would never do that. Jarad: (grins evilly) No, she probably wouldn't have. Data: And I would have never done this to Karahan. [Data moves quickly, pulling a phaser out from under his chair at Ops. He fires. He hits Jarad in the middle of the chest with the phaser. She's thrown several feet through the air and lands with an ominous thud.] [Zoom in on Jarad's face. She stares blankly off into space. Slowly, a think trickle of blood slides down her forehead. Her lips move, barely forming words.] Jarad: (dying) Data, I love you. Data: (comes to Jarad's side and lifts her head) [Jarad goes completely limp in Data's arms. Data bows his head and cries. He cries honest to goodness tears.] Riker: (regaining his composure, and his pants) Geordi! Work with us here! Can you stop the warp core breach? [In Main Engineering. Geordi is at his console typing frantically. The computer does not respond. Barclay and Carroll run to and fro trying to fix things.] Barclay: (distressed, and pulling his hair) Oh phooey! It's no use! The Linux kernel has crashed, AGAIN! Geordi: (desperate) We can't recompile it without rebooting the system! God! I never thought I'd see the day when I longed for DOS! Carroll: (gets an idea) Wait! There's another way! Barclay: (shocked) You can't be serious! You can't do that! (to Geordi) YOU CAN'T LET HIM DO THAT! Geordi: (dismissing Carroll) NO! I can't let you crawl into the plasma flow conduit with the engines running. You'll be killed. Carroll: (calmly) Not immediately. I could recompile the kernel. Geordi: (trying to reason with Carroll) You'll never get out ALIVE! Carroll: (calmly) If I don't do it, everyone dies. [A tense moment of silence as Geordi thinks.] Geordi: (shakes his head) I can't let you. [Geordi turns back to his console.] Carroll: Perhaps you right.... What is the condition of Lt. Barclay? Barclay: (panicked) Oh golly gee no!!!!! [Barclay runs from the room. Geordi turns to watch him, turning his back to Carroll. Carroll quickly gets Geordi with the VULCAN DEATH GRIP. Geordi yelps in pain.] Geordi: HEY! What are you trying to do. [Carroll shrugs. Too bad, it would have been cool had it actually worked. Instead he hits Geordi over the head with the nearest Unix manual. Geordi falls, knocked out. Carroll kneels beside him and performs a VULCAN MINDMELD.] Carroll: Remember............ [Carroll leaves and exits into the jefferies tube.] [On the bridge. The Captain is back in his chair. Riker, Data, and Svoboda are too.] Data: (surprised) Everything is back on-line! Picard: GET US THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!! [Svoboda swiftly plots a course.] [Exterior shot of the Enterprise limping away from the expanding rift.] [Back on the bridge.] Worf: (to Picard) Captain! There's something wrong in engineering. Picard: Picard to Engineering...... Geordi's Voice: ONCE THERE WAS THIS BOY WHO GOT INTO AN ACCIDENT AND........ MMMMMM MMMMM MMMMMM. Crusher's Voice: (frantic) Shut up Geordi! Picard: What's going on down there. Crusher's Voice: I don't know. But Geordi's brain seems to have been somehow filled with Crash Test Dummies songs. Picard: Where is Carroll? Tell him he has Engineering. Barclay's Voice: Sir? Barclay here..... Um.... Carroll isn't here. He's dead. [A moment of silence on the bridge.] Barclay's Voice: He stepped into the plasma conduit to recompile the Linux kernel. He saved the ship sir..... Picard: (somber) You have Engineering Barclay. Riker: The cruelty of it all. Svoboda: How can it get worse? Worf: (his panel chirps) Sir, Administrator Oh is hailing us. [The main screen flickers. Oh is there.] Picard: Oh my! Riker: Oh golly! Data: Oh shit! Oh: (bouncing with glee) Oh ME! Picard: What do you want, Oh? Oh: We couldn't let ST:TNCG end like this without one of my songs..... Riker: All hands! Afix earplugs! [Oh starts to sing "I'm Free" By Jon Secada.] Oh: Do you see what I see? [Exterior shot of the Enterprise fleeing the expanding subspace rift.] Oh: A rainbow shining over us In the middle of a hopeless storm [Close up shot of Data working quickly, he pauses to wipe a tear from his cheek and turns to be sure no one sees him cry.] Oh: Sometimes I'm blinded by my feelings And I can't see beyond my troubled mind. Afraid of what I'll find. The story of our lives. But there's tomorrow [On board a Ferangi Starship. Wesley tumbles by the window, blue in the face from holding his breath.] [Ensign points a Wesley tumbling by the window] [The Ferangi Captain perks up but Worf towers over him and threatens him.] [The Ferangi captain lunges at Worf and Worf throws the Ferangi captain to the ground and sits on his face, giving a Klingon warrior's cry.] [Data sits down at the navigation console] [Exterior view of the Ferangi starship. The engines begin to glow brighter and then the ship goes to warp speed in reverse! As the ship disappears going in reverse at high warp, we hear the crew scream.] Oh: Cause I'm free, I'm free And things are only as important As I want them to be. We'll have a breath of sunshine [Shot of Carroll and Data laughing.] Oh: When the rain goes away. I pray. I pray. Do you need a friend right now [Switch to the bridge. Ensign Deyerle steps out of the turbolift and Data trips over himself getting up from his console] Oh: In the road that you're going to [Switch to Runk Forward. Ensign Gabriel hugs the shocked Data.] Oh: If you get lost just call me, I'll be there. Yes, I'll be right there [Everyone piles on UTS the bus. Riker, Oh, Data, and Carroll sit down in the front by Barclay. As soon as Carroll sits down he pulls his paper clip out of his pocket and becomes engrossed in bending it.] [Riker asks Barclay a question and seems disappointed with the answer. Data interjects and Barclay's attitude changes.] [Exterior shot of the bus going down Alderman Road. The bus swerves off the road and crashes through the fence around Scott stadium. The bus barrels down the hill, taking half the scoreboard out and all of the shrubs planted as a "V". The bus bounces across the field and smashes through Bryant hall. The tires screech as the bus makes a sharp, and illegal left turn onto Stadium Road.] [Back inside the bus.] [Riker, Carroll, Data, and Oh cheer and praise Barclay.] Oh: Cause though I may not have the answers At least I know what I'm looking for. [Data is helping Ensign Deyerle at the science console on the bridge. Q pokes his head upside down through the ceiling behind the Ensign. Data can see him, but the Ensign can't. Q grins and gives Data a thumbs-up sign. Data is startled and annoyed. Q disappears as the Ensign turns around to look at what has caught Data's attention. She sees nothing, shrugs, and smiles.] [Ten Forward. Q and Data at a table. Q smiles at Data.] Oh: Yes I can do without the sorrow There's a day after tomorrow So I'm leaving it behind. [Shot of the Enterprise doing a loop-dee-loop.] [On the Bridge, a VERY drunk Ensign Funk navigates with a babe in his lap.] [Exterior shot of the Enterprise. The Enterprise goes to warp and an effect akin to the Picard manoeuver occurs where the ship appears to be in two places at once. The Enterprise hits the Klingon cruiser and they get stuck together. The "neck" one of the warp nacelles of the Klingon cruiser get wedged under the nacelles and the saucer section of the Enterprise. The Klingon cruiser gets flipped and turned around so that it is riding the Enterprise "upside-down-backwards piggy-back." Both ships, now stuck together spin wildly knocking the Bjoran ships off in many random directions.] Oh: I'm free, I'm free. Things are only as important As I want them to be. [Scene changes to Picard skipping down a corridor on the Enterprise.] [Camera angle shifts to follow Picard skipping towards the junction of two corridors. Dr. Crusher steps out from hiding and gives Picard a hypo-spray of knock-out drug in the arm. Picard collapses and Crusher immediately starts to drag him away by the feet.] Oh: We'll have a breath of sunshine When the rain goes away. I pray. I pray. [A planet explodes in a HUGE magnificent explosion showering lots of sparks.] [On the bridge of the Enterprise, Wesley shrugs.] Oh: And if you want to share my dreams [In a corridor on the Enterprise. Data looks at his uniform collar and looks to see that his shirt color has suddenly changed to red and he is indeed wearing 4 pips, the rank of Captain. Suddenly Riker and Worf gone and Data is again alone in the hall. All sounds become magnified and echo. There is a dripping water noise. Data begins to walk down the corridor, passing a potted plant. He comes to a doorway and looks down. The camera pans down and we see a little girl with long red hair, wearing a baggy mauve jumper sitting by the door. She is curled up in a ball with her head between her knees. The water dripping sound stops. Momentarily she looks up at Data. Her eyes are glazed like Geordi's.] Well all you have to do say it. Say it. Let me hear you loud and clear. Cause I need you if you wanna be, if you wanna be. [On a Borg ship. Lore has just died. Data kneels by Lore and closes his eyes.] [Data's lips move and he bows his head.] [The transporter dematerializes Data.] Oh: Do you see what I see? A rainbow shining over us In the middle of a hopeless storm. We'll be safe and warm!! [In Runk Forward. A large diplomatic gathering with Feds, Klingons, and Borg. Picard, the Poohbah, and the Klingon Ambassador appear to be arguing. Someone in the background yells "fight!" and Runk forward erupts into a sea of hand to hand conflict. Feds fighting Klingons. Klingons fighting Borg. Borg fighting Feds. And the Pep Band, just getting beat up by everyone. Just one huge mess as Picard, the Klingon Ambassador, and PoohBah continue their shouting match. The doors to Runk Forward open and Oh steps in, appalled at what he sees. But he knows just what to do. He sits down at the piano in the middle of the room and begins to play no one pays attention at first.] [Slowly everyone stops beating the living daylights out of everyone else and starts swaying with the song. Some one in the back of the room shouts "Free bird!" and gets punched out immediately.] [Everyone continues to sing and hug each other. But we notice Data sitting off in the corner by the window, alone. Guinan is behind the bar, smiling contently at all the happy people. Then she notices Data alone in the corner. She walks around the bar and approaches Data.] [Zoom in on Data alone, contemplating the stars.] [Guinan approaches him and they exchange words.] [Guinan turns to look out the window. Data shrugs and turns to the window also. Both of them contemplate the stars. Zoom out. Fade to black.] [Back to the present. Oh continues to sing.] Data: Sir. The rift is expanding. (Turns to Picard) We have to close it. Jarad was right. The galaxy will be destroyed if it continues to grow. Riker: (interjecting) Worf and I have worked out an alternate plan for sealing the rift by channeling warp power trough the main deflector. Data: (shakes his head) We'll have to actually enter the rift to close it by that method. [A dramatic pause.] Picard: (with fire) Take us in Ensign! I don't believe in the now win scenario! [Exterior shot of the Enterprise. It turns and plunges into the growing rift, loosing itself in the glow from the tear.] Worf: (hits the tactical display with his fist in dismay) Sir! We HAVE NO SHIELDS! Data: SHIT! I found the lost photon torpedoes. [The bridge erupts in panic as a salvo of photon torpedoes impact the ship.] [Exterior shot of the Enterprise. Several torpedoes streak through space and hit the Enterprise in various places. On hits the port nacelle and sends it flying off. Another impacts in the neck between the saucer and battle section, leaving a gaping hole. Several others impact and leave gaping holes. The ship lists badly to one side.] [Back on the bridge. Smoke and chaos fill the room. Picard stands firm but knows what he must do in this situation.] Picard: (coughing from the smoke) Abandon ship! All hands abandon ship! [The bridge crew falls silent and looks at Picard in shock. Only the red alert klaxon is heard faintly.] Worf: (defiantly) Sir, I rather...... Picard: (sternly and never more serious) That's an order! [Everyone files off the bridge to the rear into the life boats. Data and Picard are last on the bridge. Data motions toward the hatch.] Data: After you sir. Picard: (shakes his head) Tradition dictates that the CAPTAIN be last off a sinking ship. Data: Aye sir. [Data ducks into the hatch leaving Picard standing alone on the bridge. He turns and looks down over tactical, rubbing the console woefully. A tear rolls down his cheek.] Computer: Thirty seconds to warp core breach. Thank you for using the ROLM system. Picard: (at the computer) Aw.... Shut Up! [Picard turns and ducks in the hatch. It closes behind him.] [Switch to inside the life boat. All the bridge crew is packed in. Picard sits in a window seat by the door. Data throws a latch by the door and the life boat quickly accelerates out of and away from the Enterprise. Picard turns to take a last look at his ship out the window. We can see hundreds of other similar life boats streaming away. The Enterprise grows small and then is consumed by a blinding light. A beautiful starburst with fiery trails is left behind. The rift fizzles and seals like a giant zipper. The life boat is silent.] Familiar Voice: Pretty, isn't it? [Picard turns from the window and the camera angle shows Q sitting next to him.] Picard: (angry but pensive, just really wanting to be left alone) What do you want Q? (He turns back to the window) Q: (wisely, pulling his mouth next to Picard's ear) Glory is a fleeting thing.......... [Switch to shot of real life person who has faithfully played Picard through thick and thin, through bad jokes and down right vicious ones. His face is bathed in the glow of a video display.] Jeffery: (Exasperated, hitting the video screen) Doah! Dead again! [Zoom out to show a small crowd gathered around a video game in the Newcome hall game room. On the screen of the video game is a message "Insert coins to continue" and a countdown from thirty seconds in huge red numerals. Jeffery, SPiff, Hafez al Baruk, and Timmy Dude are sitting on stools in front of the game. Behind them stand Rock, Peter, Mark R., and Chris. Hafez, Jeffery, and Timmy are wearing graduation gowns.] Hafez: (sarcastically) It appears we're all dead this time. Jeffery: (searching his pockets) Anyone got another quarter? SPiff: (exhausted) I'm sick of this game any way. I am now convinced there is NO way to get the emotion chip bonus! [Everyone grumbles in agreement. Then Rock pushes Timmy off his stool.] ROCK: Otta my way wuss boy! I wanna play! (Rock feeds the machine a quarter and restarts it) Peter: (taking Jeffery's seat as he gives it up) Me too. SPiff: (looks at Chris, Aldo and Mark) You guys headed back? Chris: I've got a class. Mark: I was going to Mem. SPiff: (sighs) Guess I'll see ya later then. [Aldo and Chris walk out. Mark hyperactivly bounces out. Jeffery, Timmy, Hafez, and Spiff look at each other and then at Rock and Peter, who are already really absorbed in the game.] Jeffery: (waving) Later guys. Rock: (grunts) [Jeffery, Timmy, Hafez, and Spiff walk out. They walk past Henry Oh and Marco playing X-men. SPiff pats Henry on the back reassuringly as the four of them walk by.] [Outside the back of Newcome hall the parking garage still isn't finished. A sign reads "Coming in Spring 2016" and in small print "If you're lucky suckers!" SPiff starts to walk a separate way from Jeffery, Timmy, and Hafez. He notices and stops.] SPiff: (shuffling his feet) Well guys, I guess this is it. Have a good life. Hafez: (shapes his hand like a gun, makes a firing sound and smiles) You're dead! SPiff: (shakes Hafez's hand) Good luck Charles. Timmy: (steps forward and embraces the surprised SPiff) Oh Phys! SPiff: (playing along, hugs Timmy back and they thump each other on the back repeatedly) Oh Tim! [Jeffery steps forward as Timmy lets go.] Jeffery: (offers his hand to shake) Later John. [Startrek musical fanfare in the background. SPiff looks up at the sky questioningly as if he heard it. He takes Jeff's hand and gives him a hug.] [Jeffery, Timmy, and Hafez turn and leave for graduation. SPiff stands a short while to watch them go and then starts the LONG walk back to the Hereford College.] [New Scene: SPiff banging on a typical room door at the Hereford College. Anita answers and opens the door.] SPiff: I thought you'd like to know we ended the game. Anita: How'd it go? SPiff: (smiles) We all died. (chuckles) But Rock and Pete are still playing. I'll let you get back to studying. Just wanted you to know. Anita: Thanks. See ya later. [SPiff turns and walks out of Whyburn. He walks down the stairs of Whyburn and turns up the path to Johnson. It's spring and all the grass is green. The trees have nice new leaves and a warm breeze blows. SPiff stops in the middle of the walk and turns around, taking in the day. He sighs heavily and continues to trudge up the steps to Johnson. At the foot of the stairs, SPiff trips over a grungy hobo asleep in a puddle. The hobo looks up. It's William Shatner! Shatner excitedly holds up a sign that reads "Will act for $$$$." ] SPiff: (scornfully) Get a life! [The smile on Shatner's face melts to a sad frown and SPiff turns to walk up the steps. SPiff gets to the second floor of Johnson and walks inside. He takes a look at the empty lounge and hall. He walks down two doors to 205 and unlocks it. His room is a mess and his computer is on. He hits a key, turning off the screen saver and we see the familiar blue an white screen of Word Perfect. SPiff sighs, sits at the key board.] [Zoom in on the screen. Letter by letter the final characters of ST:TNCG appear.] T H E E N D ! [SPiff sits back, satisfied with his work. Without saving he reaches down and hits the power switch. Everything goes black.] SPiff's Voice: DOAH! I FORGOT TO SAVE IT!!! [Break to theme music and credits.] StarTrek: The New College Generation Created by John C. Martin (a.k.a. Spaceman SPiff) Conceptual Creative Credit Chris Lem (a.k.a. Da Teach) Occasional Techno-babble Assistance (Assistant Bull Shitters) Matt Leonard Charles Meissner Jason Carroll Rock Staring Cast (As Appeared from THE begging) Captain Jean Luc Picard (Commander USS Enterprise) Jeffery Allen Miller Lieutenant Commander Worf Rakesh Rakharikrishnan (THE ROCK) Lieutenant Commander Data John "SPaceman SPiff" C. Martin Commander Willam T. Riker Peter Lieutenant Geordi LaForge Charles "Col. Hafex Al Baruk" Meissner Acting Ensign Wesley Chrusher Timmy "Dude" McClogthlan Spak, The Ferangi Mad Man Mark "The Active" Rubinstien Q Aldo Bachetta Dr. Beverly Crusher Anita Reddy Other Cast (order of appearance) Voice of Enterprize Computer: Richard Nuzzy Romulan Admiral Ceglia: Ralph Ceglia Romulan Spy: Ruth Estep Admiral Cherno: Melvin Chenro Chief Miles O'Brien: Matt Leonard Keiko O'Brien: Suzzanne Lore: Mike Shor Klingon Commander Wing Mahn: Casey Cossgrove III Captain Chuck, Commanding USS Excelsior: Chuck Excelsior Crew: Malone 200's S'een Tihm, Klingon Commander: Sean Timm Dr. Kate Pulaski: Anne Bailey Head Orange: Rob "THE cool man" Zuli Klingon Extras: Weedon 100's Klingon Guard #1: Willard Klingon Ambassador: CeeJee Conselor Deanna Troi: Heather Higgins Guinan: Andrea Rowland Ensign Ro Laren: Kate Gabriel Lieutenant Reginald Barclay: John Duncan Sir Charles Barkley: Roy Mikle, Ferangi Flunky: Mike Lee "Consevative Republican" Lieutenant Carroll: Jason Carroll Dead Meat #1: Punky Meadows Dead Meat #2: Steve Yoder Administrator Oh: Henry Oh Poohbah of Borg: Shannon Cavalucci Idiot Colonists: UVa Pep Band Captain Yagle, Commanding USS Excelsior: Thomas Yagle Commander Eisman: Eric Eisman Lieutenant Aerhart: Mark Aerhart Shamalama of Borg: THE Shamalama Dr. Nooniun Soong: Tamir Glen Waser Ensign Yoder: Steve Yoder Commander Benjiman Sisco: Chris Lem Quark, Ferangi Bussinessman: Jaime Rom, Ferangi Dolt: Paradox Major Kira Nerys: Candace/Wendy Kerplunk, Klingon pain in the rear: Jeff Yultzer Vedic Gwin (Bjoran): Kim Mano Voice Of DS9 Computer: ISIS Barkeep: Rock's Sister Ditron #1: SPiff's Sister #1 Ditron #2: SPiff's Sister #2 Ditron #3: SPiff's Sister #3 Ditron #4: Jeffery's Sister Ensign Campbell: Kasey Campbell Lt Svoboda: Matt Svoboda Ensign Sherwin: Dave Sherwin Odo, DS9 Security: Bjornar Larsen Bjoran Housekeeper: Mario the NC housekeeper Gowron, Head of High Klingon Council: Blade Gowron's Aide: Timothy Husley Ashtoon, Klingon Reactionary: Muneesh Lt. Harris: Marco Harris Biff, Big Bully: Allison Linney Young Beverly Crusher: Anita Young Jean Luc Picard: Jeffery The Colonel (The B-Team): Jeff Parks Face (The B-Team): Ben Hermes Mr. T (The B-Team): Evan Light Murdoch (The B-Team): "Pretty Boy" Chriss Newman William Shattner: As Himself Ensigns of the Week The 1992-'93 Johnson 200's Hall Phantom Chuck Lisa M. Deyerle Mary Catherine "Kate" Gabriel RobMasterFunk Jaime Special thanks to all those who have borne the brunt of my insults and "Creative Genius" over the past two years, the Johnson 200's. I LOVE you guys in the truest sense of the word. Thanks also to all of you who kept me going when I felt I was so sick with ST:TNCG that I couldn't write it any more. You're encouragement and criticism has helped make ST:TNCG all it IS. A special thanks to Lisa Deyerle, Anita Reddy, Kate Gabriel, and Kasey Campbell. You aren't only my biggest fans. I'm your biggest fan too. It IS, NOT WAS. Because it is a living testimonial to our times here at the Hereford College and it will surely live far beyond our years. Maybe even to the 24th century and beyond! Least we forget that we are ashes and to ashes we shall return there is an end to everything. And my time at the New College is over. "Let it never be forgot, that once there was a spot, for one brief shinning moment, that was known as," THE NEW COLLEGE! Peace and Long life my friends, Live Long and Prosper, SPiff SSSS TTTTTTT AAAA RRRRR TTTTTTT RRRRR EEEEEE K KK S T A A R R T R R E K KK SSSS T AAAAA RRRRRR T RRRRRR EEEE KKKK S T A A R R T R R E K K SSSS T A A R R T R R EEEEEE K K THE N N EEEEE W W CCC OOO L L EEEEE GGGG EEEEE N N N E W W C C O O L L E G G E N N N EEE W W W C O O L L EE G EEE N N N E W W W C C O O L L E G GGG E N N EEEEE W WW CCCC OOOO LLLLL LLLLL EEEEE GGGG EEEEE GGGG EEEEE N N EEEEE RRRR AAAA TTTTTTT IIIII OOOO N N G G E N N N E R R A A T I O O N N N G EEE N N N EEE RRRRR AAAAA T I O O N N N G GGG E N N N E R R A A T I O O N N N GGGG EEEEE N N EEEEE R R A A T IIIII OOOO N N THE END!