StarTrek: The New College Generation

This site is fan fiction and purely a product of my (John C. Martin, aka SPiff) own imagination unless otherwise noted. I am not and never have been in any way associated with Paramount or any of its slaves, er subsidieries.

What is StarTrek: The New College Generation?

As a second year student at the Univeristy of Virgina, I lived in a residential college then known as the New College (now known as the Hereford College ). Now this was the distant past. World wide web was this new thing that most people didn't have the bandwidth to use. Gopher was king. The hottest thing on the block for nerds was a local news group we had called uva.new-college. There an unruly group of youths congragated daily to vent their fustrations, sometimes in a very creative manner.

One day Chris Lem (who went by the nickname "Da Teach" and who incidently earned a MA in teaching from UVa in 1996 and is now polluting our children's minds :) ) commented in a discussion of the bizzare architectual features of the New College on uva.new-college that he wondered what the crew of Star Trek's Enterprise would do if they beamed down into the New College on an away mission. Being a BIG Star Trek fan, I was intrigued and I sat down and wrote the first episode of ST:TNCG. The response my work received was overwhelming. I kept right on writing and didn't look back, producing about one episode a week for three semesters.

The characters are a fusion of people I lived with and interacted with while living at the New College and the characters from the "Star Trek: The Next Generation" and "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine" television shows. The plots and themes are a combination of classic Trek episodes, jokes I had heard various places, midnight hall musings over a large pizza from Chanellos, and the goings on around us at the University of Virginia and the New College at the time they were written. While the ideas certainly came from a large variety of places, the words and the writing are 100% my own. And I have done by best to take a page from the Stanley Kubrick handbook of paranoia in "destroying the models" so to speak. I urge anyone who may copy my work to keep the credits intact.

While this archive lived on the New College web site (now the Hereford Web ), I received e-mail from as far away as Ireland from people who had read ST:TNCG and liked it. So I guess that there is a lot more to ST:TNCG than the inside jokes and polotics of the New College. It has been my pleasure to bring a smile to the face of people that I have never personally met. I hope that you enjoy it too.

One last note: I am aware of the numerous misspealings (oops! :) ) in my work. But in the interest of preserving the work as it first appeared on the uva.new-college newsgroup I have not and will not correct them. Please don't e-mail me to tell me my grammar and spelling are bad. I know that already.

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The Episodes

Season 1 (January 1993 - May 1993)

Episode 1: The Pilot

Just a typical day in Star Trek: The New College Generation, including an appearance by Q, phasor fights in the coridors, Klingon insults, explosions, Ferangis, and Wesley jokes.

Episode 2: Blob Slob

A foul smelling intruder takes up residence on the Enterprise. As the crew attempts to track down and trap this menace the Romulans show up. Can Picard save the Enterprise?

Episode 3: An Eye For An Eye

The Borg,... Lore (Data's evil brother),... and a bench clearing brawl in the breifing room... what more could you ask for more in an episode of ST:TNCG? Why tribbles of course!

Episode 4: The Naked Here

For classic Trek it was "The Naked Time." For Star Trek, The Next Generation it was "The Naked Now." What's left for ST:TNCG? "The Naked Here" of course! One of my personal favorite episodes here as hormones go crazy and Q trys to teach Data the meaning of lust. And Klingons too!

Episode 5: The Chain of Lunacy (Part 1 of 2)

What's a good television show do at the end of the season? Why run a cliff hanger of course. The Klingons kick some butt and put the crew of the Enterprise in a real pickle. Data literally loses his head.

Season 2 (September 1993 - December 1993)

Episode 1: The Chain of Lunacy, Part Duex (Part 2 of 2)

Deus ex machina is needed to get the crew of the Enterprise out of this mess.

Episode 2: Realm of Imaginary Freinds Suspicions

What's more "Trek" than a transporter malfunction episode? Some crew changes as well in the episode, plus more Ferangis!

Episode 3: I'm Bored

The Borg are back and an unsuspecting colony lies in their path of destruction. Will a song and dance number save the day?

Episode 4: Revenge is a Dish Best Served Luke Warm

Here a Borg. There a Borg. Everywhere a Borg! But something is amiss. Some of the Borg are behaving wierder than normal.

Episode 5: The Phoenix

The battle with the Borg continue as Picard again breaks out the tribble torpedoes, calls in the Klingons, and directs a song and dance number.

Episode 6: Family Ties That Bind Us

The Borg crisis comes to a conclusion. Will Lt Carroll be able to save the universe with his paper clip? Who is the mysterious influence behind the Borg?

Episode 7: Worf: Sensitive Klingon Warrior

Yet another season cliff hanger. On a visit to Deep Space Nine mayhem ensues when the Ferangi population reaches a critical density of four. And it's backwards day as Klingons beg for mercy and Bjorans kick butt. Just how many nuts can you fit in a Runabout?

Season 3 (January 1994 - May 1994)

Episode 1: Sensitivity Awarness Training

Data and company make their escape but something screwy happens in the worm hole. The Klingons step in a throw all the looneys in the brig. Why in the heck is Data dreaming so much?

Episode 2: If I Ever Loose My Faith In You....

Dr Crusher finds herself in command of the Enterprise, playing play-ground monitor in a school yard brawl between the Bjorans and Klingons. Would you believe that things would be worse in Engineering with Lt Barclay in charge? But Odo is out from between the deck plates and ready to engineer a jail break.

Episode 3: Snips and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails

Here comes the mother of all musical numbers as Sisco ponders increasing security to cut down on the number of stolen runabouts.

Episode 4: Flood

Did you ever have a day where nothing seemed to go right? The crew shows their flare for the dramatic as they make something out of nothing.

Episode 5: Nature of the Beast (Part 1 of 2)

The Klingon homeworld isn't much of a vacation spot what with civil war breaking out all over. But the Klingon high council is after a kinder-genttler image these days.

Episode 6: For the Glory of the Empire (Part 2 of 2)

Worf also cooks! (What a stud.) Worf shows the Klingons "whose da man" when the gloves come off.

Episode 7: Decomposition (Part 1 of 2)

I sure hope that you were paying attetion to all the wierd stuff Dr Soong said cause it's all gonna come together here. It's obvious that Q has recently watched the entire "Back to the Future" trilogy in one sitting. The Enterprise crew feels the effects as Wesley and Data are thrown into the past to avert certain catastophe.

Episode 8: Jigsaw Puzzle, the Final Piece (Part 2 of 2)

Will Data kill to preserve the time line? Will Wesley kiss his own mother? Will Mr T ever get a real job again or just get stuck doing cameos for the rest of his life? All the pieces come together and the stage is set for the final episode of ST:TNCG.

Episode 9: I'm Free

The crew of the Enterprise goes out with a bang in this the last episode of ST:TNCG. The fate of the universe hangs in the balance as the crew makes the ultimate sacrifice and grows up a bit in the process.

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